Survivors

Recently, I have had friends who have been dragged through the mud and smacked around(not literally).  It is like they have been beaten by wave after wave and the tiny raft to which they clung to just fell a part.  I watch them and I see their back bent beneath a load that has the potential to overwhelm their faith and crush their hope.  The awful thing is that a few of these friends have already been bearing the weight of past events - painful, meaningless events. The past events have left my friends jaded and their faith seems to hanging on by a thread.  It is so heartbreaking to see persons so amazing and so gifted become so diminished - forgetting who they are, who they belong to. 

This morning I was reading my devotions from the book of Isaiah chapter 37.  Sennacherib, king of Assyria was threatening to attack Jerusalem.  He was a fearsome adversary too, because in addition to making threats he attacked the very foundations of Jerusalem's hope and assurance - their faith in their king and in their God.  Its propaganda 101. 

Sennacherib sends messengers to Jerusalem not to speak to just King Hezekiah but to shout out messages to the people of Jerusalem. In chapter 36 the messengers shout, "Do not let Hezekiah deceive you.  He cannot deliver you!  Do not let Hezekiah persuade you to trust in the Lord when he says, "The Lord will surely deliver us; this city will not be given into the hand of the king of Assyria... Do not listen to Hezekiah.  This is what the king of Assyria says: Make peace with me and come out to me.  Then each of you will eat fruit from your own vine and fig tree and drink water from your own cistern, until I come and take you to a land like your own -a land of grain and new wine, a land of bread and vineyards...Do not let Hezekiah mislead you when he says, "The Lord will deliver us."

Upon hearing these things Hezekiah is very distressed.  He knows that unless the Lord steps in they are done for - finished.  He tears his robes and puts on sack cloth (a symbol of mourning) BUT he goes to the temple and he sends word to Isaiah the prophet.  "It may be that the Lord your God will hear the words of the field commander, whom his master, the king of Assyria, has sent to ridicule the living God, and that he will rebuke him for the words the Lord your God has heard.  THEREFORE PRAY FOR THE REMNANT THAT STILL SURVIVES."

Hezekiah had faith in God - just because you have faith doesn't mean you never get totally rocked by what is going on around you.  Hezekiah recognized that Jerusalem may fall to Sennacherib (thus the tearing of the robes and sackcloth) BUT he went to the temple and asked the priest to pray for the remnant - those who had survived the onslaught of other nations, those who had survived exile.

It is difficult to have faith when everything seems to be calling your faith into question.  Whispers of "Where was God when you lost your love one?" "Look at what you've already been through.  Why would He step in now?"  Sneers of "I saw you fail. You're a failure.  You can't please God.  Why would He help you now?  Why would He even care?" Or even a simple "You suck."

The verse struck me like a little shaft of light forcing its way through the cracks. Pray for the remnant. I need to pray for the remnant in my friends' hearts - and even in my own heart.  We need to pray for little part of our faith - sometimes minuscule - that has managed to survive.  Pray that is will be strengthen, that it will grow, that it will break through the darkness and hard rock that surrounds it.

We struggle with our own propaganda.  The "voices" or questions that sneak into our heads and hearts are most dangerous when they call into question God's care for us rather than His existence.  Tell a Christian - "strong" or not that God doesn't exist and they will either see them as "fightin' words" or simply walk away because in their hearts they believe - they know He exists.  BUT tell someone God's is too big to be trifled by our tiny lives or that we have fallen too far to be recovered or that we are undeserving of being rescued - that is a weapon we all struggle to defend. Our insecurity is our greatest weakness.  The greatest lies are not blatant contradictions to the truth but distractions from the truth or a mere twisting of the truth.

I went through a very dark time a s young adult.  I cut off all communication with God.  Still attended church - was even a leader in our youth ministry and registered to attend Bible college.  But I was losing the war that raged within my heart and mind.  My life was a mess unbeknownest to everyone on the outside.  Sin and insecurity had crept in and I had allowed it to.  The shame was unbearable and at times overwhelming.  My heart became very hard and very jaded and I was angry all the time.  During that time I did a strange but very 'concrete' thing.  I slept with my Bible under my pillow.  I didn't read it, just slept with it.  In some strange but redemptive way it was the only thing I felt I could trust. 

(This portion for some reason did not publish when I first posted???) 
In my first week of Bible college the program I was a part of went on a spiritual retreat.  In the first meeting we had I went up to the front of the room and by myself knelt down and prayed, "God, change my life or end it - I can't do this anymore."  And I let go.  I let go of everything.  I had too.  Holding on to everything too tightly and too desperately had made me weak and my 19 year old self, old.  I let go of all the self talk that heaped on my shame and piled on the guilt, that minimized God's grace and His power to redeem me and erased my remembrance of His desire for me.  I let go of the sin that seemed to drag me back time and time again.  I was free.

I realise now that I have to do that daily with everything.  With those I love and I am afraid to lose.  With those I struggle to love - including myself.  I have to go to God in sackcloth, recognizing it is ALL beyond my control and give it to Him.  Praying that He has heard all the voices and lies that called into to question His love and His grace and His faithfulness that I have allowed to speak into my mind and heart and that He will go to battle for me.  That He will come to my rescue.  That He will rescue the remnant in me.  He will set me free again.

And I recognize I need to pray the same for my friends and family who are struggling.  That God will come burst through the propaganda that they have been fed, that He will tear down the banners of shame and despair and He will shut the mouths of the liars and open their eyes and their hearts to His love and His victory!

Some battles will be lost, but not one person needs to be. Pray for the survivors - even if they are barely surviving.

Mercy Me!

2 Chronicles 30:6-20
 At the king’s command, couriers went throughout Israel and Judah with letters from the king and from his officials, which read:
   “People of Israel, return to the LORD, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, that he may return to you who are left, who have escaped from the hand of the kings of Assyria. ⁷ Do not be like your parents and your fellow Israelites, who were unfaithful to the LORD, the God of their ancestors, so that he made them an object of horror, as you see. ⁸ Do not be stiff-necked, as your ancestors were; submit to the LORD. Come to his sanctuary, which he has consecrated forever. Serve the LORD your God, so that his fierce anger will turn away from you. ⁹ If you return to the LORD, then your fellow Israelites and your children will be shown compassion by their captors and will return to this land, for the LORD your God is gracious and compassionate. He will not turn his face from you if you return to him.”
   ¹⁰ The couriers went from town to town in Ephraim and Manasseh, as far as Zebulun, but people scorned and ridiculed them. ¹¹ Nevertheless, some from Asher, Manasseh and Zebulun humbled themselves and went to Jerusalem. ¹² Also in Judah the hand of God was on the people to give them unity of mind to carry out what the king and his officials had ordered, following the word of the LORD...

¹⁸ Although most of the many people who came from Ephraim, Manasseh, Issachar and Zebulun had not purified themselves, yet they ate the Passover, contrary to what was written. But Hezekiah prayed for them, saying, “May the LORD, who is good, pardon everyone ¹⁹ who sets their heart on seeking God—the LORD, the God of their ancestors—even if they are not clean according to the rules of the sanctuary.” ²⁰ And the LORD heard Hezekiah and healed the people.

An attitude of mercy can be an incredible thing when wielded by a heart turned to God.  Hezekiah sent couriers out to invite everyone - EVERYONE - to come and celebrate Passover.
There were those who mocked the couriers, but there were many who came.  The nation(s) of Israel were divided and idolatrous and for some the invitations to turn back to the Lord fell on deaf ears...some, but not all. 

Of those who came to celebrate most had not been ceremonially purified - normally a big "no no" but in this situation Hezekiah just wanted the people to turn back to God.  They were "unclean" - the whole nation was a mess politically and even more so spiritually - but the point was to come back to God.  Hezekiah prayed, ""May the LORD, who is good, pardon everyone ¹⁹ who sets their heart on seeking God—the LORD, the God of their ancestors—even if they are not clean according to the rules of the sanctuary.” ²⁰ And the LORD heard Hezekiah and healed the people."

Believers can be so judgemental, especially of those who have fallen off track or are not yet believers.  Judging non-believers is pretty irrational and totally unbiblical.  Irrational because no one is going to come to a church if they feel eyes glaring at them or hear condescending remarks, and why would an non-believer have to live or think like a believer.  The expectation is ridiculous.  Unbiblical, well just read - Matthew 7:1-5, Luke 6:37, 1 Corinthians 5:12 - there are more. 

Here Hezekiah recognized what was important.  The people were coming back to God.  They had "set their hearts on seeking God".  These people who knew better or should have (they were Israelites), received mercy from the king as well as from GOD.

When new people come to our church or people who have fallen away from the faith return for a visit (a very brave thing in some churches) welcome them with love and sincerity of heart.  Don't be foolish enough to think that you are so far ahead of the game.  First, not one of us would be in relationship with Christ if not for His amazing grace and infinite mercy.  We all at one point were "nonbelievers" and we all still sin.  Even if you were 3yrs old when you decided to follow Jesus you are still just a sinner saved by grace.  Second, it only takes a moment for someone - anyone to fall flat on their face, but it can take a lifetime to get back up again.  We should be the steady hand that reaches out to help them stand back up. 

Hezekiah presented an opportunity for Israel to turn back to their Lord.  He didn't waste time on the people who didn't respond - not even to wag a finger.  He stood as a mediator of sorts for  the people did come back, to God.  Jesus does this for us 1 Timothy 2:5.

So here is a question.  Are you willing to embrace the lost as you were embraced?  Are you willing to have tea with the believer who turned back?  Are you willing to stand in the gap?  Start by shaking a hand and smiling instead of turning a cold shoulder.  Start by saying a sincere "Hello" instead of looking a person up and down in judgement.  Start by loving others.  Start by bowing your heads and bending your knees instead of turning your nose up.  Start somewhere - Israel did and God blessed them. 

Sometimes it is easy (especially for those of us who grew up under the sheltered care of the church) to be "shocked" by people we encounter (insert mind picture of older lady in a frilly pink dress and wide brimmed hat fanning herself and fainting being caught by a man with an equally bad suit and comb over).  We shouldn't be.  If we truly understood the saving grace - the SAVING grace of Christ we would more truly understand "There but for the grace of God go I".  If Jesus is in you, His love and grace is in you too.  It just gets hidden a bit sometimes by our own stereotypes, insecurities and self righteousness.  Let His light shine and you'll be amazed at the increased frequency of smiles that come your way - including the one flashing back at your from the mirror.  Who knows you might just start a trend.

Let Us Pray Today and Always, In All Our Ways

My sister-in-law Helen shared this devotional with us this morning.  I hope you find it a inspirational reminder of including God in every aspect of our lives.  Make time for spending alone time with Him, but don't forget about Him once you stand up and walk away from your "prayer closet".

To Invoke The Name Of God      
     
(The LORD said) ... "Call to Me and I will answer you ..." Jeremiah. 33:3a
     
     
Some friends and I went fishing at a river.
 
When we gathered to begin our trip, one of those friends requested that somebody invoke the Name of God and ask Him for His protection for our trip.

With the respectful silence of everyone, that was done.

To invoke the Holy Name of God is to pray, praise and thank Him in all situations. As Christians, this is what we are called to do.

Unfortunately, there is a problem here. Some people are of the opinion they don't have time to consult with the Lord, while others find no value in praying to God.

When our Savior walked this earth, He didn't hold to either of those positions. Although He was incredibly busy fulfilling the Heavenly Father's directive to save us, Scripture records Jesus spent considerable time in prayer.

Maybe the Savior knew if a person is too busy to pray -- he is too busy. It's also quite possible He wanted us to realize that if the all-knowing, all-powerful Son of God took time to pray, sinful human beings ought to do the same.

That doesn't mean we have to be tied to schedules and timetables, nor do we have to use 25-cent words when we come to the Lord. The truth is we can pray anywhere and anytime. As for topics, just the living of the day will present many, new and very specific needs which will provide the springboard to raise our voices to God and invoke Him in our prayers.

Please, do not forget to praise God for what He is and always thank Him for the gifts we receive through His grace. Let us pray today and always, saying,

THE PRAYER: Lord, for the love of Jesus, stay by our side with Your blessings. God, our Lord and Father, thank You for Your love and for Your gifts. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Biography of Author: This devotion is based on a text submitted from Pastor Egon M. Seibert serving with Lutheran Hour Ministries in Paraguay. Established in Asuncion in 2000, LHM-Paraguay operates as Cristo Para Todas Las Naciones and is active in door-to-door ministry, radio programming, Project JOEL, Bible Correspondence Courses (BCC), and Equipping the Saints (ETS) training

Good right?  This is my heart's response to Helen and the devotional.  My gracious sister-in-law encouraged me to add this to my blog.

That was a great devotional reminder.  It brought to mind a book I have read a couple times "Too Busy Not to Pray".  I find its when I am most busy that I need to quiet myself and spend time reading the Bible and talking to God...and listening.
The other thing I find is the better I am at recognizing God's ever presence in my life I am become better at  "Blessing the Lord at all times" and "praying continually". 

My mom had a friend who drove off the road a couple of times and when asked what happened by her "rescuers" she said "I was praying" or "I got caught up praising the Lord"- she closed her eyes.  Before we add a disclaimer to 1 Thess. 5:17 and several other verses (Do not pray or praise or worship while operating heavy machinery. Doing so may cause serious injury...), I think that prayers and prayer times should and need to include quiet, alone prayer time, but should not be limitted to those times that we get down on our knees, bow our heads and close our eyes.  I think God desires us to include Him in every part of our lives.  When we are driving and view an amazing sunset, it should be natural for us to simply respond "Thank you God for this amazing sunset.  It is beautiful!"

Intimacy comes from a deeper knowledge of someone and that deeper knowledge comes through intense and deeply private conversation as well as the familiar interaction that occurs through our day to day lives.  Our approach to deepening our relationship with God needs to be an all day approach.  So invoke His Name and presence on a fishing trip, worship Him during a hike, praise Him while baking cookies, seek His comfort and wisdom sitting in the doctor's office.  Our knees should feel comfortable when ever they bend for prayer but our hearts should be kneeling throughout the day.

I don't know how a "that was a great devotional" turned into all that but... There it is :D.

Hope you spend some time talking with God in the midst of life and that you are able to take time out of your lives to spend time alone with Him too.

A Life that Leads



2 Kings 22:1-2  Josiah was eight years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem thirty-one years. His mother’s name was Jedidah daughter of Adaiah; she was from Bozkath. ² He did what was right in the eyes of the LORD and followed completely the ways of his father David, not turning aside to the right or to the left.

I have always loved the named Josiah. It was on the short list of names when my son was born.  There is just something about the story of Josiah that strikes me, I think even more so now that I am a mother. 

It is interesting when you read through 2 Kings.  For a few chapters it is not only the names of the kings that are recorded but also the names of their mothers.  And the vast majority of the kings mentioned "did evil in the sight of the Lord".  These kings were so wicked, so evil, so debase that they not only adopted the religions of the nations that surrounded them, but made up new gods, created new idols and laid out new religious practices.  Some of the practices included prostitution and even child sacrifice.

Every once in a while a king would take the throne and his heart would some how be drawn back to the Lord and a desire for holiness on a personal and national level would be sparked.  Josiah was one of these kings.

Josiah was 8 years old when he took to the throne.  He is described as following the ways of his "father David" completely.  Meaning his heart's desire was to please the Lord by obeying His commands.  He reigned for 31 years.  "He did what was right in the eyes of the LORD and followed completely the ways of his father David, not turning aside to the right or to the left."  He stayed on course.

When he turned 26 Josiah commanded that the temple be restored.  The temple had been destroyed and desecrated.  Josiah commanded that monies be collected and used to rebuild it.  In this process of rebuilding something that was lost was found - the Book of the Law. 

When Josiah heard the words of the Book of the Law he tore his robes.  He sent people to go and inquire of the Lord.  He knew God was angry with Judah and that it was because of their disobedience and idolatry.

They spoke to the prophet Huldah - a woman.  I thought that was interesting.  Anyway, Huldah explained that the Lord's wrath would still be carried out against Judah but because of Josiah's response to the Lord he would be spared the heartache of witnessing it.  "Because your heart was responsive and you humbled yourself before the LORD when you heard what I have spoken against this place and its people—that they would become a curse^[b] and be laid waste—and because you tore your robes and wept in my presence, I also have heard you, declares the LORD. ²⁰ Therefore I will gather you to your ancestors, and you will be buried in peace. Your eyes will not see all the disaster I am going to bring on this place.”

Josiah responded by pledging himself and the nation back to the Lord.  And the people in turn pledged themselves to the Lord.  Josiah then started to "clean house".  He tore down all the idols and high places everywhere.  He killed the priests who had lead the people in idolatry.  Scripture says,  "Neither before nor after Josiah was there a king like him who turned to the LORD as he did—with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his strength, in accordance with all the Law of Moses."

The Lord did not turn away from His anger though.  Judah would fall.  Its people eventually carried away into captivity. Shame and humiliation would cover the nation. 

BUT God kept His promise.  Josiah died in battle and never witnessed the fall of Judah.

Josiah was a man who stood up for what was right.  He took a hard line against sin and for God.  There were no great battles, no amazing miracles, no plagues or pillars of fire.  But the story of Josiah is a story of obedience, humility and devotion.  A king like no other before or after.  And the story began with an 8 year boy with a mother named Jedidah.

As a mother my desire is for my children to be like Josiah.  I want them to be successful at whatever they do but more than that I want them to be a man and a woman who turns to the Lord with all their hearts, with all their souls and with all their strength.  As their mother I commit to teaching my children what is right.  Like Josiah, children must learn what is right so they can do what is right. I must teach them through scripture, through prayer and through the way I live.  I must set them up for not just earthly success but spiritual greatness.  My children are amazing and could very well change history, but my desire is for them to be amazed and changed by the One who wrote history. 

Josiah could not change the course of the nation but he did not allow the nation to change the course of his heart.

Don't Worry

Whenever my husband has time off we try to get out of the house and do something.  This always includes a drive of some sort and so too includes music.  My husband loves music - good music.  So there is always a familiar tune playing in the background as we head out into the unknown.  I say "unknown" because often we don't know where it is that we are going when we start to drive.  We just go.

Anyway, one of my daughter's favorites is "Three Little Birds".  It's a Bob Marley song - you probably are familiar with "Don't worry, about a thing.  Every little thing's gonna be alright."  Every now and then she breaks into song and this funny little song reminds me not to worry.  Not in a Rastafarian, "magical" smoke circled head, "Dude, don't worry. Chillax." kind of way, but in a "God is with me in midst of whatever" kind of way.

Worry is a problem.  It robs a person's joy, builds fear and undermines self confidence.  It weakens character and standards.  It focuses on perceived limitations and challenging situations.  We take our eyes off God when we worry.

It is easy enough to say, "Don't worry..." but it is another animal entirely when you try to actually live worry free.  I think a lot if it has to do with trust issues.  People have failed us in the past and we think of God as a person - fallible and limited. Maybe its an over simplification but how else would you explain our lack of trust in an omnipotent God who loves us beyond our comprehension.

It can become even harder to trust Him when your life has been rocked by tragedy - or even near perceived tragedy. I have to admit when my daughter was whisked away from us 2hrs after she was born to be taken to BC Children's because of a very significant heart murmur I was strangely at peace.  But when they told us that it was a very real possibility that she was going to need open heart surgery to fix two separate issues with her heart I prayed.  Yes, I prayed right from the beginning of course but the prayers changed.  From very calm, peace-filled prayers of "God, please heal our little girl.  Be with the nurses and doctors, give them wisdom."  To the very same prayers prayed in panicked desperation with the very honest addition of "And if this is a lesson you want me to learn please don't teach it to me now, in this way." That is my struggle.  I don't doubt God is, well God, but at times I question whether or not He will act in the way I want Him to.

There are so many heartbreaking things that happen over the course of a life.  You have to make one of two choices - trust or don't trust.  I consider myself to be a relatively peaceful person, but in that situation I did not "feel" at peace.  My husband and I were very scared, but as we looked around at the other families in the NICU we began to realise we were surrounded by tragedy.  If you have ever been in a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit you can attest that it is anything but silent.  Monitors "ping"ing and "bong"ing when they slip off little feet or unstick from little chests.  Those constant sounds are the sounds of battle.  The smallest people fighting for their lives. 

Surrounded by heartache and tragedy were the amazing nurses,  peacefully caring for these little tiny people.  Patiently working through a gamut of emotion with family after family, day after day.  And yet there in the midst of all of it they were calm, loving, sensitive, informative and diligent.  If the nurses got caught up or overwhelmed by the diagnoses those babies were facing they wouldn't be able to provide the best possible care for them.  Everyday, they faced the medical realities with a gentle, grace filled demeanor.  "No matter what happens baby, for today I will do what I have to to help you in your fight."

That's the approach we should take to life too.  No matter what happens for today, with God's help I am going to fight through.  I will not allow fear to overwhelm me but I will let God's peace encompass me.  I will not let shame conquer me but I will embrace Christ's victory.  I will not let worry determine my approach to challenges, instead I will seek God's wisdom and grace for every day.

When our daughter was released from hospital 7 days later we thanked the nurses, one in particular for the way she cared for Sophia and for us.  Her response surprised me.  She thanked us.  For being gracious and calm and peaceful.  We didn't feel calm.  Yes, in the midst of the terror God's peace shone through.  In our weakness He made himself known.  He had been our peace even when we didn't feel at peace.  The prayers of friends and family held us on our heavenly Father's lap while the lightening struck and the thunder raged around us.  We were still scared, but His peace covered us as we buried our faces in His chest.

A peaceful life doesn't mean ignoring the tough sometimes painful realities we face.  It means we see those situations for what they are but all in the light of who God is.  Unlike the song, not "every little thing is gonna be alright" all the time.  But even when nothing seems to be "alright" in the words of another familiar song made a hit by the Byrds, the Doobie Brothers and then again later by DC Talk "Jesus is still alright."  Eyes on Him.  Stay focused.  Be at peace.

Amazing Grace

This past week has been a doosey!  From the get go it was rough.  Monday morning, exhausted from my 10 month old's lapse in sleep routine I turned off my husband's alarm, rolled over and said "Your alarm went off."  And then proceeded to go back to sleep.  When we were woken up by my son's cries I checked the clock and it was 7:53am.  My husband starts work at 8am. 

I also misplaced my watch, a very nice watch my husband gave me for my birthday 2 years ago and my Blackberry decided that it had had enough of my son's drool and died.  You don't realize how much you use those tech devices until they are kaput and then you are stuck, seemingly stranded with only a laptop and smoke signals to communicate.  Oh and our dishwasher decided it didn't like having its door closed anymore. Yep a doosey of a week my friends, a doosey.

Well, I have been trying to keep up with my devotions (which I used to do on my Blackberry) and I am just finishing of the book of Mark.  What a great book.  Chapters 14 and 15 really struck me as I read them.  Every time I read the Gospels I identify with the same disciple; Peter. 

Peter had history with Jesus and yet when the rubber met the road he failed the man he himself identified as the Son of God (Matthew 16:16).  I grew up in the church.  Like Peter I knew right from wrong.  Like Peter I had even experienced Jesus and His power in my life and had seen it in the lives of others.  But I still turned my back on Him when my pain seemed too great, my failure seemed too deep and my shame overwhelmed me.  Peter did the same.

When Jesus predicted Peter's denial Peter couldn't believe his ears.  He along with all the disciples pledged undying allegiance to Jesus.  In some capacity I am sure they were actually hurt Jesus would think such a thing, but Jesus didn't just think - he knew.  Jesus even explained to Peter that because of what was to come he had been praying for Peter specifically.  In Luke 22:32 he says, "But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

My responses, like Peter's always seem to be over or under what God would want from me.  Peter was asked to sit and wait.  Jesus even verbalized how important it was to Him for Peter and James and John.   "... Sit here while I pray.” ³³ He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. ³⁴ “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.”
 ³⁵ Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him."
 
Seemed like a simple request for a friend to make of another friend.  "I just need you to be here, with me.  I feel alone."  But Peter along with the others fell asleep.  "³⁷ Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Simon,” he said to Peter, “are you asleep? Couldn’t you keep watch for one hour? ³⁸ Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”  He calls out Peter specifically.  He expected more from Peter. But that didn't keep Peter from dozing off again.  "³⁹ Once more he went away and prayed the same thing. ⁴⁰ When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. They did not know what to say to him." Peter and the others missed the mark.  They "under" reacted to Jesus' request.  Been there.
 
Right after this "failure" Peter is faced with the terrifying reality of Jesus being arrested.  Peter's passion takes over and he draws his sword and attacks one of the high priest's servants, the "over / under response" rears its ugly head.  Jesus reprimands Peter and heals the high priests servant - one of the men trying to arrest Jesus.  He "over" reacted that time.  In that moment - that split second I am sure Peter felt justified but then the truth sets in and ... oh I have been there too.  Knowing you just keep screwing things up. Feeling like a absolute failure.  A repeat offender on God's "such a disappointment" list.  It causes feelings of guilt and shame, even sorrow when I fail.  "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." 

Just hours earlier when Jesus had challenged Peter's loyalty, predicting his denial Peter had been crushed and vehement in arguing it could never happen (Luke 22:33-35), but Jesus knew.  He didn't skirt the issue.  Look again at the prayer Jesus had prayed.  "But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” Now that is grace!  "Peter, even though you will fail me, I pray your faith will not.  And when you turn back to me, back to where you are supposed to be, strengthen the others.  Help them turn back too."  What a grace filled prayer!  What a miraculous prayer!

Peter did  fall asleep when Jesus asked him to pray. Peter failed.  His inattentiveness to Jesus' request allowed him to doze off.  We do the same.  Whether physically, or more likely spiritually we allow ourselves to "doze off".  Apathy takes a seat, puts up the Sunday paper and two minutes later our hearts are "sawing logs".  Peter did violently attack the servant to the high priest.  Peter failed.  He allowed his anger and fear to control his actions.  We do the same.  We use our religiosity or even our own tainted sense of justice to validate our violent actions or more often,words.  Peter did deny Jesus.  Peter failed.  He allowed fear to dictate his response in the situation.  We do the same.  We deny Christ when we ignore opportunities to serve others, to love others, to share Jesus with others.  We fail.  But we must remember what Jesus said to Peter, "But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”  My eyes are glistening with tears as this prayer reverberates in my own heart. 

We are told that Jesus is at the right hand of the Father interceding for each of us.  Just as Christ prayed for Peter he prays for us.  We will fail, but pray that your faith will not.  Do not let mistakes, missteps and missed opportunities blind you to Christ's powerful grace.  Do not accept the chains of shame and regret in place of the wings of forgiveness and freedom.

 Romans 8:31-39
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?  Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.  Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.  Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  As it is written:
   “For your sake we face death all day long;
   we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

And when "you have turned back, strengthen your brothers too."  Just like Peter, once we have turned back we must - MUST - help others turn back too.  We all fail.  Faith leads back from failure to freedom.  We are all in this together so we need to remind each other of God's power, His faithfulness, His love and His grace - His amazing grace.  How much stronger is the bond between soldiers who have taken turns dragging each others' wounded bodies through the mud, have wiped away the tears of surrender and inspired courage and valor to once again rise in each others' hearts, and who have ensured their comrades have made it safely home?

Failure will happen.  We must decide if we will let it rob our faith.  Don't give shame, guilt, regret, anger, hurt - whatever - don't give it a place in your life.  Don't let it glom on to your heart.  Instead when we fail, we must cling to our faith and to the knowledge that even our own failures cannot separate us from the love of God unless we allow them to.  Let God's grace amaze you each day so that despite your failure your faith will remain strong.

My faithful Father, enduring Friend
Your tender mercy’s like a river with no end
It overwhelms me, covers my sin
Each time I come into Your presence
I stand in wonder once again

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
Your grace still amazes me
‘Cause Your grace still amazes me

Oh, patient Saviour, You make me whole
You are the Author and the Healer of my soul
What can I give You, Lord, what can I say
I know there’s no way to repay You
Only to offer You my praise

It’s deeper, it’s wider
It’s stronger, it’s higher
It’s deeper it’s wider
It’s stronger, it’s higher
than anything my eyes can see

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
Your grace still amazes me
‘Cause Your grace still amazes me

PHillips, Craig and Dean

Inside Out

I have to say I have some personality traits that get me into trouble - over and over again.  The funny thing about these traits is that they can be positive or negative.  I am stubborn (people who are closest to me know this all too well).  My mom once described me as "a person who would fit a square peg into a round hole."  This can be a good trait when things need to get done - it often exhibits itself as determination.  But it can also be negative, making a person pig headed or unteachable.  Compare that to the fact that I am also very flexible - personality wise (although, I can still kick above my head).  I can be really easy going but sometimes I am too easy going.  There is such a thing.  On more than one occassion I have forced others to come along on my "fly by the seat of my pants" journey.  Not so much now that I have kids - but then again maybe more so...  Anyway my point is its not that the trait is negative, it is how it plays out in a persons life that makes it positive or negative.  However my personality exhibits itself is a clear indicator of how I am doing on the inside. 

Yesterday I was reading Mark 7.   In the first part of the chapter Jesus is talking to the Pharisees and teachers of the Law.  Over the years they started making up all these extra rules and treating them like scripture and forgetting the 10 Commandments.  The guidelines that had been set by God.  They mistreated and dishonoured their parents.  Divorces we previllent and took little more than a poorly cooked meal to be seen as "justified".  The poor were ignored.  The sick were shunned.  Widows and orphans were left to fend for themselves or even cheated out of what little they had.  Jesus didn't just come into a world that needed to be retaught but into world that needed to be smacked in the face and kicked in the ... er ... pants.  They had been going along merrily doing whatever they wanted without a second thought.  ²⁰ He (Jesus) went on: “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. ²¹ For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, ²² adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. ²³ All these evils come from inside and defile a person.  I think a lot of jaws hit the floor.  All the religious leaders of the day we being called on their behaviour.

The Pharisees and teachers for the most part focused on appearances.  That you looked the "right" way.  When they gave offerings they made sure people were watching.  The prayed loudly in the streets so others could see how "holy" they were.  They justified their neglect of the Law with the observance of rules and the manipulation of perceptions.  Not all of them were fake.  Many - if not most of them believed following the "rules" meant they were obeying God - however misplaced it was this was their idea of obedience.

It is so easy to look at the Pharisees and that crew and say, "What a bunch of idiots or jerks or hypocrites or whatever adjective you think fits.  Unfortunately, more times than not we fall into the same traps the Pharisees and Saducees and teachers and scribes and all those people fell into in the New Testament- because we are all in the same boat.  We are all weak, broken, prideful, insecure people. 

We all too often look at Christianity as a set of "dos" and "don'ts".   We equate "success" in our relationship with God with observing the "dos" and avoiding the "don"ts".  If we dont steal...success.  If we don't lie...success.  If we don't cheat on our spouse...success.  If we fudge on our taxes...failure.  If we tithe on the ill gotten gains of the tax fudge... mini success?? (Just kidding)  If we volunteer at our church...success.  if we give to the poor...success.  We work so hard and some of us maybe not so hard, at doing the right things instead of being in right relationship.

We get caught up in rules and slowly "the rules" start to take priority.  What "looks right" is often the right choice but "spiritual success" isn't determined by that choice but by the state of the heart that made the choice.  If  your heart isn't drawing closer and closer to Jesus and you are just following a set of rules, the "dos" and "don'ts".  The sinful nature you battled in the beginning still sticks around.  Jesus has to have access to your heart so He can change you from the inside out. 

If Jesus doesnt have access, all the gross sin stuff you keep shoving down, trying to ignore or trying to manage in your own strength will eventually come out.  The relationship with Jesus is what changes us.  He transforms us.  We cant transform ourselves no matter how good we are at following rules.   Doing the right thing does not equal success.  Knowing Jesus is the only thing that can bring spiritual success.  When we know Jesus our nature changes.  It becomes more like Him and we are more and more inclined to do what is right.  The difference is the right choices are born out of a right heart.

More words t think about ... Galations 6: 14 - 16  May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.  Neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything; what counts is the new creation.  Peace and mercy to all who follow this rule—to the Israel of God.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

Romans 12:1-2  Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

In the words of one of my favorite kids songs...

Change me from the inside out

Let Your love shine through

Let there be no doubt

Change me from the inside out

Create a new heart in me!

No Turning Back

One of my favorite songs over the years has been one sung by (this SO dates me) Steven Curtis Chapman. It's titled "Burn the Ships".  He sings about the explorer Cortez and how upon arrival in this new and exciting land, his crew began to speak of returning to the old world.  So Cortez ordered that they burn the ships.  Going back was not an option.  No matter what challenges the new world held this was their new life.  I was reminded of the song again this morning while reading my Bible.  I was reading Exodus 16.  In verse 3 the Israelites are complaining about being stuck in the wilderness.

"If only the Lord had killed us back in Egypt," they moaned.  "There we sat around pots filled with meat and ate all the bread we wanted.  But now you (Moses and Aaron) have brought us into this wilderness to starve us to death." 

As I read this, I began to think of the different times I have moaned about different challenges and instead of seeing them as an opportunity to step into all that God has for me.  I have pulled back when God has wanted me to have faith.  I want to go back to the "easy life" - to be comfortable in a situation that shouldn't be comfortable at all. 

The Israelites were at the mercy of the Egyptians.  They kept them as slaves.  Refused to allow them to worship freely.  And at one point in their not too distant history, slaughtered all their baby boys - their future.  Yeah, that was a great life.

We do the same thing though.  We take a step of faith, obey God and start to venture out into the unknown and instead of feeling exhilarated we become terrified and want to turn tail and run back to the life we knew before.  Back to the familiar.

The Israelites had a sad road ahead.  Eventually they would get to the land of promise.  Eventually.  After crossing the Red Sea they began to complain, worried about what they would eat.  They had just witnessed God part the waters of a sea - a SEA! and they walked through to safety.  Really?  They were worried about a little food.  BUT God  heard their complaints and gave them manna.  They were relieved when God gave them manna - white like coriander seed and tasted like honey wafers (vs 31).  But after forty years the "honey wafer" flavour wouldn't be so sweet.  It was the same thing every morning.  Day in, day out. 

 How many times have I been witness to something truly miraculous only to freak out when some little challenge or discomfort comes my way.  If we allow our fears to stop us from following God's plan because we are too uncomfortable or scared to obey and trust we are going to take a whole lot longer to get to our "promise land" too.  We may not even reach it.  Sure we'll have "food" to eat, we'll feel safe, and comfortable but we will be missing out.  Boredom will become more of a part of our identity than faith.  Self-centered complaints will give way to pessimism.  Sin will find it easier and easier to creep back into a life that once held so much promise.

 We need to stop looking back at the "pots filled with meat" and recognize that the lives we lead before for what they were. Most often what we are longing for is a past that included the slavery of our hearts and minds and the death of tomorrow's promise.  The sad thing is is that the very things that motivate us to step out and persue God in the first place are sometimes the same things that draw us back into our comfort zones.  Do not let the temptation to turn back take root or you may be wandering in the wilderness for a long time.

Avoiding the long road...

Spend time with God.  Spend time in His Word.  Let Him fulfill His promise in you. God, thankfully, gives us 2nd and 3rd and 4th and 5th and, well ...you get the idea.  He gives us new opportunities everyday to trust and obey Him and to experience the fullness of life He has for each of us.  This life is like a difficult mountain trail.  Sometimes it seems it would be easier to just turn around and go back, but we need to remember every time we crest the next peak the view gets better and better and we are just that much closer to heaven. Look forward to each morning as an opportunity to move forward instead of looking back.  Burn the ships.

Burn The Ships
- Steven Curtis Chapman

In the spring of 1519 a Spanish fleet set sail
Cortez told his sailors this mission must not fail
On the eastern shore of Mexico they landed with great dreams
But the hardships of the new world make them restless and weak
Quietly they whispered, "Let's sail back to the life we knew"
But the one who led them there was saying

Burn the ships, we're here to stay
There's no way we could go back
Now that we've come this far by faith
Burn the ships, we've passed the point of no return
Our life is here
So let the ships burn

In the spring of new beginnings a searching heart set sail
Looking for a new life and a love that would not fail
On the shores of grace and mercy we landed with great joy
But an enemy was waiting to steal, kill, and destroy
Quietly he whispers, "Go back to the life you know"
But the one who led us here is saying

Nobody said it would be easy
But the one who brought us here
Is never gonna leave us alone

Burn the ships, we're here to stay
There's no way we could go back
Now that we've come this far by faith
Burn the ships, we've passed the point of no return
Our life is here
So let the ships burn

Obedience: Two Approaches

Dealing with an intelligent 2 nearly 3 year old has some challenges.  My daughter is a little ahead of the game when it comes to language development and human behaviour.  And as far as curbing her negative behaviour, well we are still experimenting with what provides the most incentive.  The threat of a time out receives the greatest reaction and often is the most effective at producing the desired outcome. But in all honesty, what I am learning is it is all a guessing game.  I hate, HATE disciplining my daughter.  Its uncomfortable and messy and is usually met with tears, screaming, bargaining and some begging.  But I do it because I love her.  My job as her mother is to try and help her become the best her she can.

What would make things easier is if she had the desire to do what was right or what we asked of her (obviously).  She would still mess up sometimes, but she would want to do what was right and that would make all the difference in the world.  When a child responds to your requests because of the fear of possible  consequences or bribery rather than because they want to obey, it takes all the joy out the end result.

I was reading Romans 7 & 8 yesterday and this idea was played over and over again in my mind.  God's desire is for us to obey Him because of our love for Him; our love born out of His overwhelming grace.  My daughter is living in an "Old Testament" reality.  She obeys (occasionally) because she doesn't want a time out or because she will get a treat.  How much happier would both of us be if she obeyed because she loves me and wants to obey simply for that reason?  In case you are wondering, the answer is "a lot". 

In a nutshell that's how we are supposed to respond to grace.  Instead, we place ourselves back under the law because of our own lack of confidence in God's love and grace.  When we obey God to receive some kind of blessing or to avoid His wrath we miss out on the deep relationship that comes from allowing His grace to take root at the core of who we are. We rob not only ourselves but God of the joy that comes from obedience born out of love rather than fear or shame.

My daughter's young mind does not understand the benefits of obeying other than the avoidance of punishment or the reception of reward.  She hasn't learned yet that to simply obey because it promotes right relationship between she and her parents. 

We often approach our relationship with God the same way.  Unless there is the threat of punishment or the promise of a desired blessing we are not interested in obeying God.  We don't overtly disobey, at least not at first.  Little compromises here and there, bringing us closer and closer to the lines we are convinced we would never cross and then we cross them.  Then what happens? shame and fear.  We are shocked at what we have done, ashamed to let God "see us" and we are afraid of the consequences we may face as a result of our disobedience. 

If we make the choice to obey God's Word simply because we love Him and because He loves us then we will live our lives so far from the line we will rarely have to worry.  Occasionally we may slip up but we will be aware of God's desires for us and we will be more concerned with pleasing Him then seeing how far we can go.  The flip side is that we will also maintain a healthy, balanced perspective of God's grace and over the top love for us.  Shame and fear wont have a leg to stand on because even a hint of either will be quashed by the reality of our relationship with God.  We will live our lives and base our choices on a confidence in who God is and who He created us to be.  His Spirit will be living through us and breathing into every thing we do, every thing we touch and every word we speak.

Soaking It In

Both of our young children are battling horrible colds right now.  They are surprisingly resilient and maintain their cheery dispositions (for the most part).  However, last night my daughter was sounding very congested.  So we ran a hot shower and built up some steam, turn down the temp to warm and let her hang out in there for a bit.  It seemed to help. 

As I sat there, waiting for the mucus to clear *yuck* - I looked up at her and she had her arms raised, palms open and reaching up, tongue out and smiling face to the ceiling.  I couldn't help but smile.  She, like most kids, loves water.  Jumping in it. Swimming in it.  Dancing in it. It was like she wanted every single inch of her body exposed to the oncoming droplets.  So cute.

Then I started to think back to the last time I did that exact thing.  Every time it rains I love turning my face into the drops.  Eyes closed and sometimes...I even stick out my tongue when nobody's looking.  That's when I started to get a little introspective.  Yes, there sitting on that porcelain throne I started to get deep ( I've heard some really good thinking takes place in the washroom ;). 

I began to think about the last time I have just sat to soak in all that God is and has for me.  When was the last time I turned my face to heaven, reached up and stuck out my tongue to bask in all the goodness and grace my Saviour has to give.  No barriers of insecurity. No guilt or self condemnation. Not just putting in the time between the last thing I had to do and the next thing I am already trying not to think about while I am reading my Bible or praying.  The Creator of the universe is just waiting to fill me.

He fulfills every promise, He heals my deepest pain, He has held me while I beat my fists against His chest in anger, He has held me through the lowest valleys.  The One who truly knows who I am. With His perfect love, incomprehendable peace, ridiculous joy and endless grace He wants to fill me to overflowing.  He wants to bless me.  He wants to bless us.  HE LOVES TO BLESS US.    I want to soak Him in.  Open my heart up as wide as it will go - unhinge it.  Fill me up.  Let your presence drip off my hands onto the things I touch, off my lips in the things I say, let it run down my face so others can see the difference You can make in the lives of those You love and who love You.  Soak me!

Read Romans 4 today and a couple verses stuck out...

vs 5 But people are counted as righteous, not because of their work, but because of their faith in God who forgives sinners.

Thank you God!

vs 7-8 Oh what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven,
whose sins are put out of sight.  Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of sin.

Soak in His grace and mercy and let the joy ensue.

So Here Goes Nothing

I am one of those people who is always wanting to improve myself.  To be a more supportive spouse. To be a more patient mother. To be a better friend.  To be a more dedicated believer.  To eat healthier and to exercise.  But I am never disciplined enough.  I end up back where I started beating myself up over and over.  So I am hoping this will help me hold myself accountable.  There's something about putting your thoughts, aspirations and commitments "out there" for the whole world to see - or in this case one or two lovely people.  

I'd never call myself an out and out optimist.  I have been burned too many times.  But second and third and fourth chances are what I am all about...with a couple exceptions.  I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, try to approach life with a smile rather than a scowl and try to take into account that each of us is on our own path. 

I roll my eyes at people who come across as arrogant or people who keep doing the same thing over and over expecting different results or people who act like they some how stopped developing socially, emotionally or intellectually during junior high - knowing full well that I have or will fall into that category repeatedly.  Yes, I roll my eyes at myself.  And I know other people roll their eyes at me.

The reality is people are people.  We are all trying to get through this life doing and sustaining as little damage as possible - some more successfully than others.  Wouldn't it be nice to know you made someone else's life a little easier?  So what if I commit to that this week.  I commit to making someone else's life a little easier.  Doesn't matter who - just someone.  Help.  If you see someone struggling, instead of criticizing or walking away in irritation - lend a hand.  Wonder what will happen...

I read Matthew 28 today.  I love Mary Magdalene and Mary's experience at the tomb and their subsequent response.  My favorite verse?  Verse 8 "The women ran quickly from the tomb. They were very frightened but also filled with great joy, and they rushed to give the disciples the angels' message."  "They were very frightened but also filled with great joy."  When I read that verse I think of roller coasters or anything you do despite your own fears.  I find that the things that are the scariest are often the things that bring the greatest joy.  Falling in love.  Getting married.  Raising children.  Obeying God.  Things that frighten us can also give us the greatest thrill.  When we push through our fears we can break into joy.