So Here Goes Nothing

I am one of those people who is always wanting to improve myself.  To be a more supportive spouse. To be a more patient mother. To be a better friend.  To be a more dedicated believer.  To eat healthier and to exercise.  But I am never disciplined enough.  I end up back where I started beating myself up over and over.  So I am hoping this will help me hold myself accountable.  There's something about putting your thoughts, aspirations and commitments "out there" for the whole world to see - or in this case one or two lovely people.  

I'd never call myself an out and out optimist.  I have been burned too many times.  But second and third and fourth chances are what I am all about...with a couple exceptions.  I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, try to approach life with a smile rather than a scowl and try to take into account that each of us is on our own path. 

I roll my eyes at people who come across as arrogant or people who keep doing the same thing over and over expecting different results or people who act like they some how stopped developing socially, emotionally or intellectually during junior high - knowing full well that I have or will fall into that category repeatedly.  Yes, I roll my eyes at myself.  And I know other people roll their eyes at me.

The reality is people are people.  We are all trying to get through this life doing and sustaining as little damage as possible - some more successfully than others.  Wouldn't it be nice to know you made someone else's life a little easier?  So what if I commit to that this week.  I commit to making someone else's life a little easier.  Doesn't matter who - just someone.  Help.  If you see someone struggling, instead of criticizing or walking away in irritation - lend a hand.  Wonder what will happen...

I read Matthew 28 today.  I love Mary Magdalene and Mary's experience at the tomb and their subsequent response.  My favorite verse?  Verse 8 "The women ran quickly from the tomb. They were very frightened but also filled with great joy, and they rushed to give the disciples the angels' message."  "They were very frightened but also filled with great joy."  When I read that verse I think of roller coasters or anything you do despite your own fears.  I find that the things that are the scariest are often the things that bring the greatest joy.  Falling in love.  Getting married.  Raising children.  Obeying God.  Things that frighten us can also give us the greatest thrill.  When we push through our fears we can break into joy.